I open my lips and out slips crystaline diaries of my worries and triupmhs and everything. The ink stains my fingers, looking like my eyes, souls in the windows of tonite. We'll do right by you, I swear, I would die for you. I'm not sure I could change the world if I tried which is why, I, hello, goodbye, leave tonight. Don't think, just breath, do, be you. I can't stand the games I play. It's twisted and lovely and cold and beautiful. I would love to love if I didn't hate so much about me. Never enough, just to stop. I breathe when not a breath can be heard. And the colors around you are swilrling and lovely and wonderous and I can't stop myself from staring for hours at what I know I can't ever explain, and sometimes I wonder if this isn't just pain. I never believed, except for always, and nothing has ever been more outright and straightforwardly confusing as this. I swear I would, will, should. Never do. Don't think, don't drop the ball, the bomb. Contempt, it's so beautiful, wouldn't you agree? You are never blue, but always, you are. If I could explain, I've already said it a thousand times, in the solace of my mind. Don't ask me if I know what I mean because I do, and it's you who never knew. I don't think straight but never thought at all. It's all just a waste of time, illusions, despite the truth of it all. Nothing is ever as it seems, except for everything I know. And if I could just stop it all from coming all at once for one moment, it would be enough.

And yet, it's all so beautiful, I couldn't bear to tear myself away.